Makes heaps of sense.
got this off the net
—–
Written by Adrian Tan, author of The Teenage Textbook (1988), was the guest-of-honour at a NTU convocation ceremony. This was his speech to the graduating class of 2008.
—–
I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.
My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.
On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.
Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.
And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument.
Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.
The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You’re done learning.
You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.
The good news is that they’re wrong.
The bad news is that you don’t need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You’re in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.
I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I’m here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.
You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There’s very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.
Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.
So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.
Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they’re 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn’t meet their life expectancy.
I’m here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.
After all, it’s calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average.
Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.
That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.
If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don’t need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.
What you should prepare for is mess. Life’s a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.
Don’t expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.
What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.
Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.
The most important is this: do not work.
Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable.
Work kills. The Japanese have a term “Karoshi”, which means death from overwork. That’s the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there’s nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.
There’s a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are “making a living”. No, they’re not. They’re dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.
People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan “Arbeit macht frei” was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.
Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.
Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.
I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn’t do that, I would’ve been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist.
So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don’t imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I’ll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.
Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don’t, you are working.
Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I’m not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.
In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.
I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated.
It’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.
One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.
The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.
I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.
Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.
Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.
Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.
You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.
You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.
Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.
Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.
Post Camp Thoughts
been a while since I updated something substantial on this blog other than nice videos and Ricky Martin coming out of the closet (once again, was it ever in any doubt?). Anyway, was sharing to a friend about this (post camp thoughts – not Ricky Martin) and this friend suggested that I blog this, to share and bless people who take that few seconds to delve into this page dedicated to the periodically incoherent ramblings of my gray matter.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I attended Hope UK’s camp that started last Friday (2/4). The camp theme was “The Saints”, with the teachings based on “A Sanctified Church”, which happens to be a really retro teaching. Prakich said it’s old but the principles aren’t old fashioned – and i second that opinion.
To be very honest, there was part of me that didn’t feel like attending. I mean, flying all the way to another country to live with a bunch of people whom I’m not even well acquainted with for 4 days, not knowing what to expect, not exactly my idea of how I would spend a long weekend. Well, that thought didn’t stay with me for long, due to the fact I’ve already dumped 200+SGD on airfare which was non-refundable; and also because I gave my word to Eldos (one of the main leaders) that I would be there.
As things turned out, I am absolutely delighted that I didn’t back out from it. It was an AMAZING experience. Coupled with the fact that all my camp objectives were met, it did make for a very good weekend.
Teachings and PnW wise, I can’t really say that anything hit me in the face. The preached word was a good reminder of setting myself apart for God, and the implications of doing so.
The thing that really, really blessed me was the fellowship. I was attached to the students group for the camp somehow accidentally I suppose, cos I had to crash the night before the camp at the place of this brother named Jon, who was from the uni group back in SG, and out of convenience, I just tagged along with his lifegroup. In retrospect, I think that move of convenience was kinda divine, cos those people have no idea just how much I was blessed observing and fellowshipping with them. Also, we played the Barnabas game, and before the end of camp, my Barnabas (who turned out to be this Thai sister) had already blessed me with 3 gifts, and handed me an Easter chocolate bunny before camp broke. Very, very touched. And sorta nudged me to bless my Barnabas too haha =p
I think I was probably one of the oldest or the oldest in their group (both physically and spiritually), but there were a few things this “laojiao” Christian actually picked up/got reminded of, from the group. Well, I wasn’t that much older (abt 5 years on avg), and the things they were doing weren’t anything new, but still, it was really, i don’t know, a mixture of being humbled + nice when I talked/had fun with them. Being humbled because they treated me like one of their own really quickly, which is not something readily seen in many churches nowadays, both in SG and in Dublin.
Well, nice because, I learnt so much from them. They actually didn’t formally teach me much. In a nutshell, I was very impressed by the simple faith and simple love for God these people had. It reminded me once again that age doesn’t play a part in fervency, zeal, and passion for our God. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about their actions alone, in which the point would be debunked by older believers as something “they are doing because they still can – wait a few years”; rather, I’m talking about their can-do attitude and gung-ho spirit for Jesus. As joining a students group goes, I only got to sleep a few hours every night (doesn’t really happen in adults camp anymore), with devotions still to come on subsequent mornings. And I’m impressed by how the guys in the group still dragged themselves out of bed and made it to devotions (albeit 10-15min late of course haha). Of cos I had to follow right? lol =p Another thing was the closing ceremony. My group was IC of that event and Kelly (who was from youth) directed – well done Shirls 
She made quite a number of people act out roles which I reckon should be out of line with their usual selves – i hope! And it was heartwarming to see how ready the people were to serve, and carry on their roles with enthusiasm. Eventually, it actually turned out pretty well on the day, and mutters of some tearing was heard – well done Kelly! Everyone in the group had a part to play, and it all came together with supernatural coordination even though rehearsal times were scarce. God definitely had a hand in it I say =)
Another incident about simple faith came on the second day – games day. I didn’t participate in it cos I had assignments to catch up on, but I was there for the events prior to that. What had happened was that Jon was the game master, and had been pretty concerned about bad weather for a while – cos the games were outdoor. Being a practical Singaporean, plan B was very much concocting in his mind. Eldos stepped in, and in true spirit-filled leadership fashion, announced that we were going to trust God for good weather. Guess what, other than the first day, we had good weather for the rest of the camp. What made it even more incredible was that rain was forecast for the entire camp. Simple faith like that, we don’t really witness nowadays (ok, not applicable for adults camp cos we usually go to a hotel but you get my point). Well done Eldos!
My 3 camp objectives were to finish up my assignment (done!), re-establish certain spiritual habits (done too i hope!), and make heaps of friends (definitely done!). I can’t remember when was the last time i met all my camp objectives, so it was really awesome indeed.
This camp reminded me of our Hope camps a decade ago. Am not inferring negative connotations; on the contrary, it was heartwarming to see everyone knowing everyone, and having that strong family atmosphere that is usually lacking in bigger churches. To be honest, music wasn’t that fantastic technically, but who cares about music when the overall climate was as thick as a fog?
I am more and more convicted that as the church grows bigger, the care/life/home/cell groups must grow “smaller”. Smaller meaning a stronger fellowship, more unity, and replicating what only smaller churches can accomplish in terms of atmosphere in our respective small groups. Another way is that the church remains status quo – which is not exactly Matt 28 either. I do not claim to be an expert on the subject, but since the church is going to continue to grow, on my part, I’m going to make huge efforts to aid my future groups and leaders achieve this standard.
On a parting note, to my new found family members who are reading this – Apri, Anita, Jon, Gemmy, Thomas, JerRY (caps on purpose), Jenna, Jolene, Kelly, Jhung Ee, Yvonne, New, and even Joycie – (i pray you come to know Jesus soon!), thanks for everything. I have been devoid of good fellowship for a while, and you people have no idea just how much you’ve added to my life in the span of 4 days. I miss you guys much already, and hope I can come back soon =)) Well done with the group Apri!
For those who Need Audible Directions from Above
- passage taken from “God is Closer than You Think”, by John Ortberg.
There is much about God’s speaking that is mystery to me. One thing i know for sure. There are no formulas. I cannot control God’s communicating with me. I cannot force him to speak through my piety, sincerity, or hard work. The wind blows where it will, Jesus once said.
One morning i was in my office at my former church and was sweating bullets over a midweek message that refused to be conceived. This was a pain, any male preacher will tell you, compared to which having a physical baby is a walk in a park. (Women preachers who may have an actual baby also know this.) Bill Hybels, the senior pastor, bounced into my office with the happy report that his message for that weekend was already finished. Meanwhile, i had nothing. A little late on, he came back in to tell me that he had a brainstorm for his message the following week, and that was done too. He was beaming. I was so happy for him.
Before the end of the day, Bill stopped by to say that he had a talk to give overseas in a few weeks, and he had a terrific idea for that one as well. And i realized what was going on.
God was giving Bill my messages.
I cannot force God to give me the guidance or help I think i need. There may be a good reason for his remaining silent sometimes, (At the human level, wise parents and good friends often recognize the need for silence, so surely at the divine level, God does as well.) For instance, I have never received clear guidance at any major vocational crossroads of my life. When I was finishing grad school, when I was going to my first church, when I was contemplating marriage, and even not that long ago when I began to think about leaving Chicago to come to Menlo Park – I will tell God that if he’d just send me a postcard with directions, I will gladly obey. But the postcard never came.
This used to frustrate me, but I have come to suspect that there is a good reason for it. God knows me well enough to know that if I have to grapple with these decisions – to think and struggle and examine my motives and assess the future and have conversations with wise friends and take responsibility for choices – I will grow in ways that would never be possible if I simply received a postcard in the mail. And God’s primary concern for me is not my external situation – it’s the kind of person I’m becoming. God’s silence does not mean his absence. He is surely capable of making himself understood when he has direction to give.
So we cannot force God’s speaking, and it is not wise to try. But there are things we can do to make out minds increasingly receptive to his presence in our thoughts.
Every thought holds the promise of carrying me into God’s presence.
In the painting on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, God and the man he created are just a hairbreadth apart. How far is that? Closer than you think. God is never more than a single thought away. Even if i haven’t thought of him for days. Even when I have been immersed in selfishness and sin.
Let’s look at an example of the power of our thoughts to pull us toward or away from God. Cognitive psychologists say every thought carries a little “emotional charge”, pulling us toward or away from some emotion like anger or joy. In one experiment, subjects who completed the sentence “I’m glad I’m not a…” five times ended up feeling more happy than when they started. On the other hand, subjects who completed the sentence “I wish I were a…” the same number of times ended up feeling worse.
In a similar way, I think all our thoughts carry with them a kind of spiritual charge. Paul says in his letter to the church at Rome that when the Holy Spirit is present and at work and in the human mind, he always moves it in the direction of life: “The mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace”. On the other hand, the mind that shuts itself off to the presence of God tends toward destructiveness: “The mind controlled by the sinful nature is death”.
We might think about it this way: There is a ceaseless stream of thoughts running through your mind at lightning speed. Picture each thought as a bead strung across a wire:
-00000000000000000-
You read this book and think about a sentence, then you go to turn a page and notice that you’ve been chewing on your nails, which reminds you of your anxiety about your boss, which prompts a little anger fantasy about what you’d really like to say to him, at which your mind turns back to this book.
This is your mind. You are having a series of thoughts. Sometimes in your mind seems slow and feels like this:
-0——–0———0———0———0
Sometimes when a day goes by, and it feels like your entire brain activity looks like this:
——————0————————
The reality is that your mind is never still. You are having thoughts, observations, perceptions, and ideas at such a staggering rate that you don’t even remember the vast majority of them.
In reality, each thought we have carries with it a little spiritual power, a tug toward or away from God. No thought is purely neutral.
–0—-0—-0—-0—-0—-0—
(+/-) (+/-)(+/-) (+/-)(+/-)(+/-)
Every thought is either enabling and strengthening you to be able to cope with reality to live a kingdom kind of life, or robbing you of that life.
Every thought is – at least to a small extent – God-breathed or God-avoidant; leading to death or leaning towards life.
In time, if we listen carefully, we can learn to recognize his voice. Not infallibly, of course. But the kind of thoughts that come from God are those in line with the fruit of the Spirit; they move us toward love and joy and peace and patience. And we will learn that there are other thoughts that are not likely to be God speaking. For instance, nowhere in the Bible does it say, “And then God worried.” So i can be quite confident that thoughts that move me toward a paralyzed anxiety are not from God.
Confidence & Spoken Words
How many times have we inadvertently caused somebody’s confidence to plummet because of careless words spoken?
Had a convo with a good friend recently, and this friend mentioned that because of a certain general perception, he always felt that he couldn’t accomplish certain goals in life. Even though he was outwardly ok and even laughed about it with his critiques, deep down inside, it created another voice, telling him that he will never be good enough.
I for one, had to repent and apologize because i was one of those people who were careless with my words towards him. Evil of me? I don’t think so. However, it still doesn’t justify anything.
Proverbs mentioned that a word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. To wordplay it a little, a wrong word spoken is like a rotten apple.
Anyway, back to the story, this friend had a chance to conquer one of his greatest fears recently – fear not because he was not up to it, but because he felt he was not up to it, after the many critiques through the years. To cut a long story short, he did it anyway, and professed to me that he felt a new breakthrough in that area for the first time ever. There was a new found confidence that “hey, i can actually do this, and i do not suck in it!”
Reflecting on his story, i realized the power of words. Because of people often telling him he couldn’t do it, he had grown to believe that lie, where in actual fact, yes he may not excel or be the cream of the crop in it, but that doesn’t make him suck at it.
As for myself, through the years, people have always (jokingly) told me that i suck at singing. However, last year at my buddy’s wedding, i had a chance to belt out a trio of songs as part of the wedding band lineup. People who were close to me (but not close enough to crack deprecating jokes) actually told me i sounded decent. And that was good enough for me. I know i’m not a Josh Groban/Sting/John Mayer etc, and neither would i ever win SG Idol, even though the talent pool is really bad; but it doesn’t make me suck as a singer. I can still sing something in tune and as long as glasses don’t break and ears don’t bleed, i think that’s pretty good!
To be honest, i don’t think my friends meant what they said seriously, and neither do i think they even remember! The point I’m getting is that, a careless word spoken may be funny to the person who said it in the beginning, but it doesn’t do much for the person on the receiving end; and in the case of my friend (and I), it may produce lasting consequences.
To draw the story of a famous local musio, Jeremy Monteiro has been touted as the father of Jazz in the Singapore music scene. He is an excellent pianist with a wealth of experience. Nowadays, he sings a few songs in his jazz gigs. However, in his younger days, people always told him that he should stick to playing the piano, and not sing, simply because Claressa Monteiro (his sister) was a really kickass jazz singer. Mentioning this story, Jeremy said he slowly grew to believe that he couldn’t make it as a singer, until one day, he actually had to fill in for someone last min, and came to the conclusion that, yes, he may not have his sister’s vocals, but it doesn’t mean he’s bad at singing.
2 things to take note:
1) Be careful with my words.
2) Not speaking careless words is not good enough. Speak encouragingly.
on a side note… last day in Singapore…sian
Au Revoir 2009, Bonjour 2010
new yr eve’s party at Carmen’s place with the LG was fuzzily warm, with great food prepared by MasterChefs Reagan + Val & Mum. Had a time of SOP sharing towards the countdown minute.
Question of the day: Breakthroughs & regrets for 2009, and hopes for 2010.
Thoroughly enjoyed myself with fun people and funny games. While playing Charades, we had to guess a person, acted out by Diana (the word was “loanshark”). She immediately pointed to her husband….rofl! Yet in another act, someone pointed to us (grouped according to gender) repeatedly. Chris, in all “innocence”, volunteered: “handsome!”… “macho!”…. “hunks!” LOL. Not that i beg to differ btw ^^
Ruminations on breakthroughs….
2009 has been significant for me, at least in terms of my growth as a person. I reckon that 2009 was the year that i have grown in character quite a fair bit, more so than the amount of growth i have put together in my previous 10yrs in church – any coincidence that it also happens to be the year in which i’ve experienced the most heartache and refinement? 2009 was big for me indeed.
Ruminations on regrets….
Seriously…. no regrets. None. I am the sum of all my experiences. I don’t regret anything i have done this year. Someone asked me recently what 6 words would i like, to sum up my life at the end of it. I thought through for a bit, and came out with this:
Lived to the fullest. No regrets.
Ruminations on hopes and dreams for 2010….
Anticipating even bigger and greater things to come! If 2009 was anything to go by, 2010 should be a blast! =) I end my term in May, so i have a few options lined up after that, however, not all options direct my return to Singapore (for now). Seriously need to wait and pray, and see how situations pan themselves out in the days to come.
An apt song to the end of a year and the start of all things new
Dreams
“As children we assume that greatness is within our grasp. Whatever inspires us, we begin to dream that one day we will be the best. It is only as we lose our childlike innocence that we begin to settle for far less. A part of growing up seems to be acquiescing to mediocrity. It’s easy to say that we’re just becoming realistic, that it’s just a part of growing up. But, in fact, it’s the death of our souls. When we stop dreaming, we start dying. For some of us, this has been a slow, painful death. Others are just walking dead. They died a long time ago, and it’s nothing less than a freak of nature that they’re still breathing”
- Erwin McManus (Soul Cravings)
Fasting
came across this post on fasting by Ps Kong of CHC, makes for a good read, and inspires me to want to pray and fast more, esp after his explanation on the topic, which debunked many myths (about fasting) that we might have believed in
Lessons from Menmakers 2009
just came back from a men’s conference in Edinburgh, Scotland! Visited a few places, had the privilege of listening to some great messages from Ray McCauley, who pastors Rhema Bible Church, the largest in South Africa (approx 45000).
Anyway, lessons learnt/got reminded (in no particular order):
1) Whatever God is asking me to do, only i can choose to stop it, the devil has none of that power
2) There are times when i go up to the mountain alone, and no one else is going with me; out of goodwill, people try to talk me out of some BHAG* that God has given to me – stand firm if it is from God! There is a reason why he made me and no one else see it
(BHAG*: big hairy audacious goal)
3) You’ll know a person by his fruit – not by what he says, not by what he looks like, not by anything else – just fruit.
4) And fruit takes time to bear before it can be seen
5) the moth’s struggle to get out of the cocoon – the struggling strengthens its wings – allowing it to fly. Challenges and trials are there to strengthen me, a lot of people want to take flight, but do not want the struggle to break out of the cocoon
6) There is a test (condition) to fulfilling certain God promises – i need to do something to get them
7) Delay doesn’t mean denial
8) It’s my job to discern God’s timing; not set/change it
9) It’s easy to trust God when it doesn’t concern me
10) If gifting takes you to a place where character cannot keep you, the gifting will destroy you
11) People saw a shepherd boy, God saw a king (David)
12) Paul’s training before ministry took 3 years.
13) Obscurity sets up an opportunity for God’s glory to be shown
14) Goliath made David famous. Many times we want God to lift us up but we do not want the Goliaths
15) David’s training to be a king took 20years of caring for sheep and killing lions and bears.
16) Getting a word isn’t such a big thing; it’s hanging onto that word that counts
17) I can be in the presence of God and still be hardened
18) Sometimes, when i’m in the right place in the will of God, he will stay silent. Silence isn’t always bad! I shouldn’t seek lightning and bushfires all the time
19) No weapon formed against me shall prosper; oh yeah, the weapon WILL be formed; but it shall NOT prosper.
Some pictures of the conference:
Ray McCauley:
Jan Eriksen, former pimp and drug lord turned preacher – powerful testimony
Of cos, no trip to Scotland would be complete without a bottle of single malt scotch whisky.
Cheers!
One Year On.
This time last year, i embarked on one of the most difficult moments of my Christian life ever. Caught me by surprise right between the eyes, but still had to go through it nonetheless.
What followed after that fateful day, was an approximately 3month period of self-pitying, stupid moves and rather crucially, one of the rare periods in my 10yr walk where the roots of my faith and foundation in Him were sternly tested.
I’m actually quite amazed how time flies. Can’t believe it has been one year. Still able to remember certain incidents so vividly.
God has been good. The comfort, guidance, and most importantly, the grace he has shown to me in this one year has simply left me speechless. Late last year, i got 3 prophecies on 3 different occasions that 2009 was going to be a big year for me. And so far, i guess it has been. Would i have imagined myself in this position currently during Jan or Feb this year? It would be a definite no.
Billy Graham said mountaintops are good for inspiration but fruits are found in the valleys – i concur. While not denying that i didn’t enjoy the arduous few months, im glad that God made me go through it, and even though i was bewildered for quite a while, he never left my side. His presence was always there, through the concern of my friends, family, leaders etc. Those of you who walked with me and gave me endless encouragement, you know who you are, just wanna say that you guys will never be forgotten. A special shoutout to those few who not just supported me, but also reiterated your belief in me, you are one of the main reasons that i was able to pick myself up and carry on.
I’d like to think that i have emerged from the (trial?) wiser & less naive, but mainly, i’d like to think that i’ve come out of it as victoriously as i know how. Granted, the mistakes and aforementioned stupid moves have somewhat left certain irreversible consequences, but i believe that as i continue to walk with God, he will make things alright…somehow.
Another thing about fruits being found in the valley, sometime in about mid Jan this year, i started intensively listening to teaching podcasts and devouring books for a period of half a year. While i do not really have the luxury of time to do it now that im in the midst of my semester, it’s not an exaggeration to say that i’ve learnt more in that half year compared to my previous 10 years in church. And the best thing? I believe God isn’t done with me yet (ok, i don’t know if i should be that pumped about it or not…haha! =p)
God has humbled me so much. To quote PJ, i know that i know that i know that i know that i know that i can never ever ever ever live without the presence of God in my life. Oh man, i’ve really come to realise how much i need Him. Anything i do on my on merits to gain that righteousness a Christian ought to aim for, is but a mere breath, a whisper in the wind. Only God can give me that righteousness. Without God in my life, i’m utter toast.
I ain’t perfect, as much as i’ve improved, i am still prone to errors (sometimes committing the ever-so-silly ones), so kindly bear with me as im still work in progress.
And no, this isn’t a thinly veiled barb at anyone in case you are thinking. I really harbor no bitterness towards anybody as im typing this. Can’t drive properly if you are always looking in the rear-view mirror can you?
For those of who have heard something with regards to me, and are curious to find out more, i would say… don’t you have better things to do? hahaha =) I’ve been taking a “no-comments” policy with anything that has happened, not about to change it. Neither am i making anymore apologies or “compensations”, i’m convicted that i have already done everything i need to. Believe whatever you want, as long as im assured that my close friends, and most imptly, God, are on my side, that will suffice.
Exciting times ahead! =)
2 Lessons
sorry for the lack of updates hey. work’s piling up. And i’ve gotta get as much work done as possible before my upcoming travels
16/10-18/10: Galway (Ireland)
22/10-26/10: Barcelona (Spain)
6/11-8/11: Edinburgh (Scotland)
13/11-15/11: Belfast (Northen Ireland)
can’t wait!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
2 valuable interlinked lessons i’ve learnt recently, helped me a lot in my understanding and my approach towards God, hope it blesses you hey:
1) God sometimes allows us to fall into the same thing over and over again, so that we will always remember him and his grace.
2) Surrender to God, not to the doings that aid our walk with him
there was a period of time recently when i was rather peeved about falling into the same bad habits over and over again. It was ridiculous to me as i could be worshiping God in the morning, strengthened by the bible and all, and bam, come evening, i would snap. It didn’t make sense.
Talking to someone online, this wise person just shared what came to mind, and even though i think it served as a reminder to the person, it hit me right between the eyes. It was a revelation to me.
2 Cor 12:7-10 (the message)
7-10 Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,
My grace is enough; it’s all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.
Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.
Wow – i wanted share more with regards to point 1, but the message version has explained it heaps better than what i would have been able to.
A few days later, God revealed another rhema word. I’ve been having the wrong focus. I figured that, just because i read the bible diligently, did my bible study once every couple of days, and worshiped and read regularly, i assumed that all these would be enough to keep me walking strong with God. And when i faltered, i would get upset. I thought, this was akin to eating well, training everyday, sleeping well, then failing my IPPT anyway. God reminded me gently,
“Are you surrendering to the things that help you draw near to me, or are you surrendering to ME?”
Bam, another one between the eyes. Had i continued to rely on my deeds to get close to God, only 2 things would happen: i would either get too self-righteous (im “there” because i did this and that), or beat myself up over bad habits or future sins i commit. Either way, it’s not going to help me achieve a close walk with Him.
At that point of time, two things happened simultaneously:
- left to my own devices, i realized how wretched and weak i was (according to Rachel Green: “there’s rock bottom, then underneath there’s 20 feet of crap, then there’s me!”)
- i got stronger in Christ, and acknowledged that by surrendering more of myself to his will, i can only get even stronger =)
I guess this is what it really means by, “when i’m weak, then i am strong”.
sidetrack: Dublin is starting to get colder. 8 deg yesterday night. Not even winter yet. Eeeeeps.
listening: Miles Collection
